


We Died Young and Broken

by Thy_Undertaker



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop, EVENTUALLY ANYWAYS, Gay Couple, M/M, Modern World AU, Reincarnation, Slow Build, Yaoi, eren has a rough past, fic: wdyab, levi is confused as shit sorry, lots of fluff, more tags to come probably, nerdy eren, punk Levi, so does levi, um
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4780184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thy_Undertaker/pseuds/Thy_Undertaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever met someone for the first time, but in your heart you feel as if you’ve met them before?<br/>--<br/>After the death of his parents, Eren Yeager comes to live with his Aunt who forces him to work in the coffee shop she own along side the rude and royally pissed Levi. The catch? Unexplainable feelings dwell deep inside and horrible nightmares begin to plague each of them, but what do they do when they realize that these aren't just nightmares, but memories of a life they once shared?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ohayo~  
> Thank you to everyone for even thinking about reading my work!  
> Thank you to my lovely editor, geeklysarah, for proofreading and editing this, it means a lot!

**{ LEVI’S POV }**

I suppose I had always considered myself a fairly normal person. I had a job, my own personal problems, and felt things just like everyone else. I suppose what did put my apart were my obvious anger issues and my ability to appear uninterested in everything. It was uncanny, and I loved it. It kept me well protected on both the inside and out. I was an impenetrable fortress. That’s what I had thought at least. Or maybe, that’s just wanted to think. Maybe, somewhere deep down inside, I knew that I wasn’t an impenetrable fortress. That there was someone who could break through my barrier.

* * *

“Good morning, Levi~!” I hear from behind the counter as I step inside the coffee shop that I worked at. It was a pretty basic place, nothing that really set it apart from other coffee places, minus the perfect coffee and my own unusual appearance.

 

“Good Morning.” I offer the manager who grins cheerfully at me and I go into the back to put my stuff away. It was a miracle I was allowed to work anywhere with my piercings, tattoos, and cold demeanor. 

 

When I’d ask the Manager, Marian, why she had hired me she had babbled on about some kind of appeal. Apparently I was very popular among the many teenage girls this little off-the-wall coffee shop tended to attract. I had simply ‘tched’ and moved on. That particular conversation hadn’t captured my attention long enough. Sure, I noticed all of the stares, the giggling, the blushing. But none of those girls appealed to me in the slightest.

 

In fact, very few people held any appeal to me. Every time I got close to someone in a romantic or sexual way, something about it just felt wrong and off-putting. I could never quite put my finger on it, but it always felt like I was missing something, that there was a bigger picture and I had lost the puzzle pieces to that picture. I sigh as I tie on my apron and busy myself with making coffee and scowling. It is what I do best after all.

 

It wasn’t until a few hours later that our newest employee arrive, however I was not aware of this. 

 

I don’t look up as the bell chimed, signaling the arrival of a new customer. “What can I get you today?” I ask as I closely inspect the glass I had been drying. It was clean enough to meet my standards. Perfect.

 

“Um, I’m looking for the Manager here?” It was a boy’s voice and when I look up I felt something pulling on both my heart and mind I looked into this boy’s eyes framed by those large black glasses he wears. I couldn’t tell what color they were. Green? Blue? I don’t know. I don’t really care. But there is something about his features. The way his chocolate brown locks sweep over his forehead, this eye color, the golden skin, the way he bit his lip nervously before me, even the way he stood. 

 

I  know this boy from somewhere. I could practically feel the pieces click into place, but the image itself evades me as if attempting to play games. It was frustrating and I quickly decided that I did not like this feeling. He received my signature glare, maybe a bit more intense than most people do. 

 

“Wait here.” I tell him sternly before heading into the back and fetching the manager. She is ecstatic at seeing the boy, gushing over how he’s grown and how she has missed him. He calls her ‘aunty’, so I’m assuming he came for a visit.

 

“Oh, you look so much like your mother.” She gushes, pulling Eren into a hug who quickly pulls away. It is obvious that was not something he wanted to talk about. In fact, he even looked uncomfortable.

 

“So, um, where can I put my stuff for now?” He asks and that’s when I realize he has a suitcase with him. She leads him into the back for him to put his stuff away and I continue cleaning the glasses. 

 

**{ EREN’S POV }**

The first thing I notice as I step inside of the little coffee shop is the man standing behind the counter. He is quite a bit shorter than I am, at least five inches, and has to be my senior by about five years. My eyes are immediately drawn to his emotionally distant expression, various piercings, various tattoos, and odd undercut. You didn’t see many people with haircuts like that these days.

 

I shrugged it off. It didn’t really matter anyways. It wasn’t like I wanted to be here.

 

“What can I get you today?” The question slightly took me by surprise for some unknown reason.

 

“Um, I’m looking for the Manager here?”I answered a little shyly. The instant his gaze locked with mine, it was almost as if my legs had turned to jelly and all conscious thought had escaped my mind. Why was I here, again? Who was he? I had the more than vague impression I knew him from somewhere but I cleared my throat quickly and swallowed. My mouth was impeccably dry all of a sudden.

 

Without a moment’s hesitation his distant and emotionally vacant gaze turned into an intense and hard glare. “Wait here.” 

Man. If only looks could kill I would be six feet under.

 

Had I said something? Why had he glared at me like that? Maybe he was just a characteristic asshole. Yeah, probably. He kind of exuded the asshole vibe, really.

 

Before I know it, he has returned with my Aunt tailing closely behind him. “Oh, Eren! I have missed you so much! How are you? Have you been eating properly? Hmm, you look rather thin. I have just the remedy for that.” She continued babbling on for a few minutes to which I answered curtly, usually with just a ‘yes, aunty’, ‘no, aunty,’ ‘I understand, aunty’. The usual with family members you really weren’t all that close to. 

 

And yet here I was, come to live with the Aunt I barely knew. Then again, I couldn’t really blame anyone else, really. It was all my fault anyways. 

 

She suddenly pulls me into an unexpected hug. “Oh, you look so much like your mother.” I stiffen up at this. I wasn’t having this conversation. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. I couldn’t… I just couldn’t. I quickly pull back, stuttering for an excuse. 

 

“So, um, where can I put my stuff for now?” I ask awkwardly. I didn’t want to be here. I should be back with my parents. My parents who should be alive and together. I shove the thoughts to the back of my mind and scold myself. Eren, stop thinking about it. You know better.

 

With that, she swept into the back of the little cafe and I stowed my suitcase neatly between a back counter and some lockers when she suddenly dumps a small heap of clothes into my unexpecting arms and I drop a piece of it. I bend over and pick it up, glancing skeptically at the uniform.

 

“Since you’ll be living with me from now on, I thought it would be good for you to work here.”

 

I glanced down at the black and white heap now in my arms. Wouldn’t that just be great. I scowled at the clothes as if they had done my some universal harm without even being aware of it. 

 

I quickly put the clothes on and, to my surprise, they fit me perfectly. Weirdly perfect. I shrugged off the thought as I pushed my glasses up to sit on the bridge of my nose where they belonged and drew in a deep breath before pushing open the door into the small kitchen. 

 

I glanced over at the short man. He looked royally pissed. Somehow more so than before he’d noticed me walk into the shop and I felt irritation stir within me. What was this guy’s problem, like seriously?

 

He eyed me carefully for a moment with a half-lidded look and made a small ‘tch’ sounds before returning to the cup of coffee he was making. I clenched my fists in annoyance but didn’t say anything about it. In fact, he spoke first. 

 

“I’m guessing Marian wants me to train you.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. If he already knew then why bother saying it aloud?

 

“I guess so? I don’t really know. I just got here and she threw these at me.” I picked at the apron, a look of uncertainty spreading across my features. He sighed. 

 

“You sure are slow, brat.” I clench my fists again.

 

“I am not! And don’t call me a brat.” He glowers darkly at me and I return the bitter gaze. He wins this round and I look away, unable to hold the eye contact any longer.

 

“Tch. Brat.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For a long time, my subconscious rested in a dark place, ticking through memories like a jukebox selecting a record...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I hope to begin updating weekly from here on out!  
> The chapters so far have been a little short but I hope to make them a little longer in the future once the plot really gets rolling :3
> 
> Beta'd by geeklysarah, thanks so much!

**{ Eren’s POV }**

 

Over the next week or so, I came to find that working in the coffee shop wasn’t so bad. I was beginning to adjust to the orders, the customers, my aunt, Levi, and just this lifestyle in general.

 

Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I guess I expecting to come here and live with a horrible and mean aunt in stinky awful town full of generally awful people. But, in truth, there was only one person I couldn’t stand and that happened to be my only co-worker, Levi. He was snappy, short, and had a glare like none other. When he wasn’t glaring (which was as rare as it sounds), it was as if he was a robot:no expression, no emotion, no anything.

 

If I’m being totally honest with myself, I found it terrifying, but I did everything in my power to not let him under my skin. I was afraid that if I did, it would become an open wound and infect itself.

 

But in a real moment of truth and real honesty, there was nothing about this town or these people that I hated as much as I hated myself. None of these people caused the death of their parents. In fact, I’m sure most of them were perfectly happy with their families and had little to worry about beyond the basics-school, work, standard social lives.

 

I would kill for those problems.

 

Because here I found myself, yet again, leaning over the bathroom toilet at 3 A.M. dry heaving over my sink. Yes, again.

 

Night terrors were a common occurrence for me. In fact, they were so common that I dreaded sleep. I absolutely dreaded it. It was the same every night… Every single night....

 

_**7 hours earlier - 8:04 P.M.** _

 

I sighed, trudging up the creaky but stable steps that led up into the studio above the coffee shop. This was where my I lived with my aunt, and to my disdainful surprise, Levi. Apparently he had nowhere else to go and needed somewhere to crash while he was going through college. Whatever.

 

I open the fridge, staring into its moderately full depths. Nothing looked appealing. Then again, little looked appealing to me these days. I lived off of force feeding myself for appearances and there was no one around to keep up appearances for. Aunt was out with a few friends and it looked like Levi had already shut himself up in his room next door to me. Fine by me.

 

So, instead of eating I take a scalding hot shower and pull on a pair of shorts for pajamas, falling into the decently sized bed awaiting me. It may have really been soft but to me it was rock hard. I found no comfort in the sheets. So, instead of sleeping, I lay in my bed and stared at the ceiling for a good couple of hours before I felt sleep quickly dragging me into the darkness.

 

_I glance around for a few moments, blinking slowly as I process where I am. I’m in the backseat of a car._

_Why am I here?_

_I glance next to me to see myself. I am obviously irate and about ready to break something. I notice my coldly distant parents seated in the front seats, and suddenly, all of the memories come rushing back to me like a punch to the gut, cutting across my foggy mind._

_“I’m fucking seventeen today, why is it such a big deal for me to leave the fucking house?!” The other me shouts at the placid adults in front of him. The man gives the other me a stern look._

_“Language, Eren.” Is all he says before looking back at the road with a sigh. This is where it all goes to hell. I know this part well._

_“No, stop! Don’t break the window! Don’t break it!” I cry from where I sit, desperately reaching in vain towards the boy whose fist raises to connect with the glass. No. Stop! I continue to plead silently. My hand passes through his._

_There is a sudden shattering of glass as the other me screams at his parents, “Why won’t you answer me? I fucking hate you!”_

_It was at that moment when my father failed to swerve away from the truck that made its way into our lane. All because he had turned to look back at the other me who sat there screaming obscenities with a broken window and a bloody fist._

_The image before me shatters like that piece of glass, and suddenly I am lying in an endless stretch of sand, covered with hot and sticky blood. There is so much of it that I feel as though I am drowning in the warm substance. I choke and gasp for air as the blood and sand ooze into my mouth and cut off my airways periodically. I feel as if I am sinking into the sand, but somehow I know my body isn’t moving._

_“It is your fault. You are the reason we are dead!” Two voices in unison shout at me. They are full of such loathing and hatred, I squirm until their image comes into view. I don’t know why I do it, I just do._

_“No, no I didn’t!” I shout this over and over again. I ignore the blood and sand that threatens to choke me and ooze into my mouth._

_They reach their bloody hand towards me, like zombies, as they repeat their own mantra over and over, drowning out my own cries of protest. “You’re fault. You’re fault. All your own fault!” Their hands grab my limbs and scratch at them. I continue to cry out._

_It isn’t until that moment that I become overly aware of the blood which seems to thicken around me. It isn’t mine. I don’t know how I know, but I know it isn’t mine._ This blood isn’t mine! _I realize with horror which makes me squirm and shout even more. My body is weighed down by some invisible force, making it impossible to move away from their hands which claw at my body and mix our blood._

_I’m choking… I’m choking… I’m dying… Someone, please, help me...._

_“Your fault. All your fault!”_

 

I awake, screaming and writhing in my sheets before I am overwhelmed with the urge to throw up and so I throw off my bedding and stumble to the bathroom.

 

That’s how I ended up dry heaving over the toilet in my bathroom, practically praying for something to really happen this time. Maybe I’ll feel better if I actually vomit for once.

 

Nothing.

 

That’s how it is every single night.

 

It is filled with memories and pain and screaming and blood.

 

Then, nothing.

 

After a few minutes I stop and lay against the bathtub, shivering. My body is covered in a sheen of sweat, and I’m not sure that I can properly stand and make it to my bed. I give myself a few minutes before even attempting it.

 

As I stand, I find that my legs are made of jelly, and they constantly try to buckle underneath me. Somehow I push past all of this and make my way back to my bedroom and find a full glass of water there. I greedily gulp down the cool liquid and settle on the side of my bed with my face in my hands.

 

Why?

 

Why did I have to sneak out of the house that night? If I hadn’t, my parents never would have left the safety and comfort of their own home.

 

That’s right. Because I was being a stubborn 17-year-old who wanted to stay out most of the night simply because he was eighteen.

 

Why did I have to break that window? If I hadn’t, my father would have seen that truck swerve into our lane and they would still be alive.

 

Ah, right. That’s because I have an unrivaled temper and I just wanted their attention. I just wanted them to actually look at me, get mad, be normal parents for once. I hated their cold silences. Anger and yelling had always been worse than nothing to me.

 

Yet here I was with nothing. Why did I have nothing?

  
Because I killed my parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr --> http://thy-undertaker.tumblr.com/
> 
> All Kudos and Comments are much appreciated.  
> I answer almost all of my comments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We are all simply reacting, played by events that occurred centuries before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay so I haven't updated in over a month, I just had a lot on my hands and very little time to write. Anyways, I definitely know where this story is going and pretty much the exact details for the next few chapters so they should flow pretty easily. I admit, this chapter is kind of boring but is very important for the next chapter which should be posted in the next few days!  
> This chapter has not yet been beta'd.

**{ LEVI’S POV }**

tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap...

 

“Stop that.” I snap for the third time that day, shooting Eren a sharp glare. For whatever reason he couldn’t seem to stop tapping his damn foot. It was driving me crazy, and I was about ready to push him up the stairs into the studio and lock him in his bedroom.

Actually, that wasn’t such a bad idea…

 

“Sorry.” He shrugged. The kid didn’t even look sorry.

 

“Tch.” Was all I respond before looking away to help a customer. This was all so bothersome. Why had Marian hired her nephew? It wasn’t as if I couldn’t handle the coffee shop on my own. Even during our busiest times I always did fine, and our feedback was good. But no, she had to go and hire this little brat who couldn’t do anything right, constantly tapped his foot, and half of the time looked like a kicked puppy dog with bright greenish-blue eyes and every time I looked at him I just felt annoyed.

 

Ever since the first time I’d seen him, he just looked so damn familiar that it was almost painful to look at him. That’s right, painful. That was something I hadn’t felt in a very very long time. Somehow, it only made it that much easier to hate him.

 

That last time I’d felt pain like this had been the day my adopted father had died.

 

Why did I feel pain? It wasn’t like I had any real relation with this kid. Yes, we lived in the same house, yes we worked at the same job. But we didn’t talk beyond annoyed words shut as “Stop that”, or “Shut up”. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

 

“Hey, Levi?” His words brought me out of my stupor and I glance over lazily at him, my eyes finding his own puppy dog ones. Why did he always have to make that face?

 

“What is it?” He scrunched his face as if concentrating. If he concentrated any more he would probably lay an egg or something stupid.

“How come you work here? I mean, you don’t seem to like your job very much and… well… you…” His voice faded off and he glanced nervously at the ground as if he had just crossed some personal imaginary line.

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

 

“I would. That’s kind of why I asked.”

 

“Just because you asked doesn’t mean I have to answer.”

 

“Aw, come on, why not?”

 

I let out a huff of quiet air, I could feel annoyance tickling the edges of my mind. I had thought that maybe this brat wasn’t nosy, apparently I had been wrong. It appears his nosiness had been biding its time and festering over the past week.

 

“Because.”  


“That’s not a real answer...” His words faded as I stopped what I was doing to turn fully and look at him. The kid appeared to almost have a heart attack as my placid expression fell fully on him. Apparently that got his attention.

 

“Like hell it’s not you little shit. Now get back to work.”

 

I sighed and turned back to the drink I had been working on. I didn’t know why this kid was so damn curious and wanted to stick his nose in my business when he obviously had plenty of problems of his own.

 

I wasn’t stupid or oblivious to the regular sounds of muffled screaming, the pitter-patter of clumsy feet as they raced across the wooden floor to the bathroom at 3am every single night, or the choked sounds of dry heaving and labored breathing. That wasn’t exactly normal for a 17 year old kid, not that I would know. I hadn’t exactly been a normal 17 year old myself but I hadn’t found myself running to the bathroom in the middle of the night every night out of sheer terror.

 

Just through the sounds that penetrated through the wall, I knew that’s what it was. Sheer terror. I knew that emotion too well, had been best friends with it for too long. Even now I sometimes felt it clinging to me for old times sake. I hated it.

 

“Hey, Lev-” I cut him off.

 

“No.” I didn’t turn to look at him because something told me he would be staring me down with those big, sad eyes of his and it was just too much.

 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Was his annoyed reply. Well, look who was annoyed now.

 

“I don’t need to hear it.”

 

“I was going to ask you to pass me a marker.”

 

Oh.

 

I blindly grabbed a sharpie from the cup just in front of me and blindly hand it out to him without a word. This little brat was a piece of work.

 

**{ EREN’S POV }**

 

I more or less pretty much refrained from talking for most of that day from that point on. Levi had taken that moment and pretty much stuffed it down my throat so he didn’t have to answer me.

 

I sigh as the work day finally ends and we clean up, Levi taking out the shop key and locking it up. Aunt Marian had gone out to dinner with some of her friends that night, leaving everything to the care of Levi and I.

 

I race upstairs first in hopes of getting the first shower. The shower in the apartment was probably the only bad thing about where we lived as the first person to get a shower got plenty of hot water, but from there out it was extremely unreliable and it was alternate between spouts of warm and cold water-truly awful.

 

It only took Levi a few seconds to catch on to what I was up to and he followed suit closely as we pounded up the slightly rickety stairs, both of us aiming for the bathroom. He may have been smaller and faster, but I was decently fast myself and had long legs so we made it to the door at the same exact moments, our hands and bodies caught in a stiff deadlock as we each struggled to get in before the other. Levi may be mature and an ass, but he did not want to take an unreliable shower any more than I did so even this was not beyond him.

 

“Let go, I called it first!” I shout triumphantly, holding his steely grey gaze.

 

“Tch. As if I’d let a brat like you steal all the hot water.” He growled back, his eyes fierce and unwavering as he stared up at Eren. He may be short but he was nothing less than intimidating with all of those piercings and tattoos and those eyes.

 

From there on, it seemed to turn into a staring contest. I held his gaze with hardly any trouble, they were fierce but I was determined and stubborn. Nothing had ever overcome my stubbornness before, I never let it. Our eyes were locked in a long and powerful battle and it was with a harrumph of victory that he dropped his gaze and let go of the door, glowering darkly as he made his way into the kitchen.

  
I grinned with pride as I opened the bathroom door and unclothed myself, eagerly greeted by the warm shower that awaited me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments will be read/replied to, kudos are appreciated if you enjoyed it, feel free to find me on tumblr ~  
> http://thy-undertaker.tumblr.com/  
> Thanks for the read, reader-chan!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can keep as quiet as you like, but one of these days somebody is going to find you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  
> Okay wow so it's been a long time since I've updated but I'm on a roll and am already almost finished with the next chapter, so yeah, I hope you enjoy! ^-^  
> Note: This hasn't been updated yet but I wanted to post today, I will update with the edited version here soon.

{ LEVI’S POV }

 

I closed my eyes and my breathing seems to ease as I lean back against my closed door; hidden in the safety of my bedroom from that determined gaze.

 

His gaze seemed to twist something deep inside me without even knowing it, without even trying. I had been unable to hold that same gaze for the sake of a warm shower; I simply couldn’t do it. Those eyes seemed to tear into me and dredge up all of my negative feelings, causing something to scritch and scratch at the very edges of my mind. It was making me that much more irritated. 

 

What the hell was wrong with me? This was not like me. I was always in control, irritated but relatively calm. And yet, just a look from that snotty nosed brat and I felt as if my very soul was being twisted and wrenched, shoving me into a dark place I had no desire to visit. 

 

I shake my head defiantly in order to clear my mind. I needed to get it together. It was obvious the boy could not peer into my soul, there was no reason for me to freak out like this, it was not necessary. I was strong and in control and I did not care. I didn’t. 

 

You don’t care. You don’t care. You don’t care… I repeat these words in my head, creating a mantra of them. It took me a few moments but sure enough these words helped to calm me down, especially now that I was safe tucked away inside of these four walls. My bedroom was my safe haven and I collapsed upon my sheets, exhausted from my work day.

 

I only fight the inevitability of sleep for a few moments before allow the darkness to overcome me and wash me away in its wake.

 

I stand on top of a great wall, looking out upon a vast expanse of nothingness which eventually gives way into a forest some distance away. I am at least 50 feet off of the ground, the wind gently threading through my hair and then disappearing, only to be replaced by another gust. 

 

My hands were tightly clenching something and it is a familiar feeling, as if I had been doing it my entire life. I glance down at my hands to see them holding some sort of strange, flat blade and I feel as though they should be covered in blood because as I look at them I remember using them, using them in deep and powerful swings to cut through… something. I can’t quite recall what. That, or it doesn’t really matter. Maybe I’d done it too many times to want to remember. I didn’t know anymore. Everything in my mind seemed to blur together in a hazy fog. 

 

There was only one thought that rang more clear than the rest of them, a thought filled with worry and dread.  When will the day come that I have to kill him?

 

I couldn’t remember who exactly I was thinking about, why I would have to kill him. Whoever he  was. I close my eyes, only to see a flash of familiar green.

 

“You won’t have to do it.” I hear footsteps approach and I don’t need to glance at the approaching man, for some reason I recognize the voice yet I have never heard it before. A man I’ve fought next to on countless occasions.

 

“I hope you’re right.” Is my response before I feel a sudden burst of air and my thoughts go dark, the vast expanse before me disappearing as if it never really existed.

 

\--

 

Now I am speeding along through the air. 

 

The air? Glancing around, I realize that there is something attached to me at the hip which seems to be propelling my movement, I don’t have to think about control it, it happens automatically without thought. In fact, it is almost comfortable for me. The twinge of pain I feel every time the hooks find a new hold on the surrounding trees is nothing, it is familiar and welcome. I know that there will again be bruises there however.

 

“On your left!” A familiar voice shouts out, a female voice. I don’t hesitate to glance to my left before I see a large creature. Almost human-like in appearance but too big to be human, much too big. It is naked and devoid of any real characteristics, I’m not even sure if it male or female but something in me doesn’t care anymore. 

 

Don’t they all look the same? I wasn’t sure anymore. One thing was certain, it would not survive.

 

It took next to no effort as I brought myself above the creature, twisting myself to allow those familiar flat blades to sink into the flesh of its nape. I barely glance at it as it falls to the ground. It is just one of many. One of many to feel the bite of my blades.

 

Then I am simply speeding along as if nothing happened, as if this was something I did everyday… well.... it was, wasn’t it?

 

My eyes shoot open suddenly and it’s as if I’ve forgotten to breathe. Those dreams were so insignificant, so pointless, but something about them had me captured and unable to move or breathe, had me perspiring as if I were really there, swinging through the trees and cutting huge monsters down as easily as swatting an annoying fly. 

  
What kind of shit was this? What 24-year-old man thought up shit like that and woke up sweating like a fucking five-year-old who still thought there were monsters under his bed?

 

 

I snorted at the irony of it and sighed, using my hand to wipe at my dap brow. My face contorted in disgust. I needed a shower right now, I was filthy. 

I peeled myself off of my sheets and collected a pair of clothes to change into, yawning as I closed my door behind me. I was just outside the bathroom, hand on the door knob, when I realized there were noises coming from it.

They were horrible, gasping sounds, painful sounds, as if they couldn’t catch their breath accompanied by heart wrenching sobs. It was a raw and painful sound that made my own chest constrict as if the pain were mine. It was awful to hear. 

I didn’t bother knocking on the door and I turned the knob, swinging it open to find Eren on his knees, crouching over the toilet as if he were going to vomit. His long brown hair was plastered to his forehead and neck with sweat, his golden skin was feverishly red. It was as if he didn’t even see me, though, and he continued to sob and wretch. 

At first I just felt shock. What was he doing in here? Did he have a fever or some stomach bug? That’s what it looked like to me, but I’d never seen someone look that bad with either of those. The flu, maybe? Regardless, I knew he needed help and there was no one here but me.

“Hey, kid, are you okay?” I ask. I know it was a dumb question, but it was really more to get his attention than anything. I couldn’t just leave him here like that, I wasn’t that much of an ass that I would just leave him like that.

The look on his face as he turned towards me was horrible. Shock, horror, embarrassment, his eyes were rimmed red and his skin looked painfully warm… If I didn’t know an better I would guess he had a fever.

He gulped and immediately attempted to silence the sounds he was making, but to no avail. I sighed and leaned against the counter, rubbing soothing circles into his back. A friend of mine had once done this for me and I had found it extremely comforting.

Despite my efforts, he tried to stand but I stopped him. “Don’t try standing until you’ve calmed down.” I told him sternly. He stopped. I continued my motions. It only took a few minutes of that before the tears ceased and the noises stopped so he could catch his breath. I glanced down as something bumped into my leg and realized he had slumped against it, so tired that he had passed out the moment he had calmed down. I sighed, picking him up and walking him into his room. I carefully laid him on the bed, taking a light blanket and covering him so he wouldn’t be cold. This kid was a piece of work.

I knew that when he woke up that he would be thirsty, so I went out and fetched him a cold glass of water. Upon my return I couldn’t help but sit down on the bed beside his sleeping figure and stared at him for a few moments. The way his dark brown hair fell over his eyes, the not-quite peaceful but relaxed look on his face, the deep and even...

He made a few noises of discomfort and unconsciously I began rubbing circles into his back again, but only for a moment. What the hell was I even doing? There was no reason for that anymore. I hastily retracted my hand as if burned and promptly left the room in order to complete my original mission of taking a shower. I needed it now more than ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! All kudos are appreciated and all comments are read/replied to!
> 
> My tumblr --> http://thy-undertaker.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, long time no see! I have officially taken this fic off of hiatus because I had a burst of inspiration and have confirmed where I want to go with it so be expecting updates in the future. I currently don't have a computer, so they might come a little slow but they'll definitely be coming.
> 
> If you are a returning reader, thank you so much for sticking with me!  
> If you are a new reader, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Enjoy!

I woke up the next morning with a groan, slamming my fist down on the alarm clock repeatedly until it finally shut up. I sat up in bed, rubbing my sleep-filled eyes and yawning. I felt like complete shit. My nightmare had been worse than usual last night and then… and then… 

 

The memory of being found suddenly came back to me and I felt as though I’d been hit by a ton of bricks. I buried my face in my hands, ignoring the raging thirst that scratched at my throat. Oh god. He’d seen me. He’d seen the person I became at night, the terrified and lonely mess that I became. He saw my tears and the raw fear I experienced every night. He saw everything.

 

I didn’t want to get out of bed.

 

_ He saw. He saw. He saw. _

 

I didn’t want to work. I didn’t want to go to school.

 

_ He saw. He saw. He saw. _

 

I didn’t want to face him. How could I?

 

I couldn’t.

 

_ He saw. He saw. He saw. _

 

_ “ _ Eren, you’re going to be late!” My aunt called through the door, knocking on it gently. I didn’t respond. “Eren, honey, is everything alright?” She asked, rapping on the wood again, a little harder this time. I groaned inwardly.

 

“I’m fine, Aunty. I’ll be out in a minute.” I replied through my hands. How could I climb out of bed and face him? 

 

_ The same way a murderer like you faces that woman every day. Acting like nothing ever happened. _

 

I sigh, climbing out of bed and shoving my glasses on my face before throwing on a pair of jeans and a green button down shirt. I ate breakfast and, thankfully, Levi was absent from the meal. He was probably downstairs getting ready to open the shop. I wasn’t complaining. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, combed my wild hair, and pulled on a pair of converse.

 

I couldn’t find it in myself to look in the mirror longer than a few seconds. I was disgusted with the boy who looked back. 

 

With that, I grabbed my backpack and rushed out of the house and towards the school, my head down as I walked. Sometimes I just wanted to forget everything. A nice bout of amnesia would be great right about now. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. I felt like the string of a bow, being pulled taut until it snapped. 

 

It was then that my world seemed to tilt and it was as if my head was not properly secured and I found myself searching for the ground with my fingertips as I attempted to regain my bearings, but I just couldn’t. Everything around me continued to spin. I’m not really sure what happened before I completely lost consciousness and visions filled my mind.

 

_ It was only snippets. I could only see snippets of the bigger picture… _

 

_ A large gray wall stood before me, I stared up at it, wonder what may or may not lay beyond it... _

 

_ I was flying through the air, there was so much blood, the stench of rotting corpses, limbs strewn everywhere… _

 

_ Hands, trailing my body and searching every inch off me, the warm pleasure as they crushed their lips against mine, something so familiar about their touch… so familiar…  _

 

_ My own scream penetrating the air as my entire lower body was ripped away… the pain of it… _

 

_ Someone else’s desperate screams… “Eren! Eren!” their voice was so familiar… _

 

_ But, more than anything else, one image dominated my mind. A thin green fabric with a logo in the center consisting of a muted background and two wings. Somehow, they were so familiar… so familiar… _

 

_ My own blood covered hand reaching up towards a blurry face hovering above me… then nothing. _

 

I gasped, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hand, wondering where I was. What was I doing? I couldn’t remember.

 

“You should be more careful.” I glanced up to see a tall boy with dirty blonde hair and a snarky grin on his face, in all honesty his features reminded me of a horse. I couldn’t quite place what it was. Just behind him, a much smaller and more petite boy with long, bright blonde hair stood slightly behind him, peering out at me with big blue eyes. He was cute, in his own way.

 

“You never were very smart, were you?” He asked with a smirk and I gave him a confused look.

 

“I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head. I flinched, why was it sore? And why was I sitting on a bench with these two strangers in front of me.

 

As if he read my mind, the short blonde spoke up first. “You fainted. Jean didn’t quite catch you in time.” He admitted, elbowing the taller blonde in the side and moving in front of him, moving my head to the side and looking at it closely.

 

“Well, it’s not bleeding so I think you’ll be okay. You have a hard head.” He smiled, sort of. But it was a strange and almost forced smile. These two were definitely acting weird, and I wasn’t so sure I liked it.

 

“Um, thanks.” I said quietly before remembering where it was exactly I was supposed to be.

 

“Shit!” I exclaimed, pulling out my phone and checking it. Awesome, I was already running late. “I’ve really gotta run, thanks for um… catching me.” I mumbled, hardly sparing them another glance as I ran off in the direction the school should be in.

 

“No problem!” He shouted after me. I held up a casual hand before they disappeared. They sure were acting strange, almost as if they knew me from somewhere.

 

It was pretty embarrassing though, the fact that I had just randomly fainted and had to be helped by some random passerbys, I felt a little guilty in all honesty. Then again, that was the emotion that I was best at now wasn’t it?   
  


I sort of wandered and drifted through the day. My body moved, my mouth spoke, my brain functioned… but my thoughts were stuck on this morning. What was all of that about? There was so much blood, pain, sorrow and… of all things, passion. Something about the mere thought of those hands gave me goosebumps.

 

Except, I was a virgin. I’d dated around a little in my old life, I’d explored and had a little fun just like any other teenager. But this had been different that anything I’d ever felt before. It was raw passion and connection, a feeling I had never felt. Not really. But it had felt so real.

 

I was really going nuts. 

 

I don’t think I could have ever dreamed that, it felt more like a memory. More like I was remembering something that I had long since forgotten. Something about those blurry scenes flashing through my mind caused my chest to ache and my lungs to burn. 

 

There was a piece of my just begging to remember something, but none of it could be real. 

 

Could it?   
  


I wasn’t sure. I snuck into the shop through the back door after school, finding it blissfully vacant of Levi with Aunty behind the counter in his place. According to her, he had some business to take care of and wouldn’t be back until later.

  
As far as I was concerned, he could never come back and that would be just fine with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't been planning on introducing any characters except Eren and Levi, but I figured why not! Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it comments/kudos would be much appreciated!
> 
> I will post new chapter links and updates on my tumblr under the tag "fic: wdyab"
> 
> My tumblr:  
> thy-undertaker.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this first chapter of "We died Young and Broken". Please leave me any feedback you may have and some kudos if you enjoyed it!
> 
> My tumblr --> http://thy-undertaker.tumblr.com/


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